I spied this on a phone box at 47th and 6th today… it’s perhaps the most specific, demanding yet hilarious personal ad EVER (full text typed out beneath the picture). I’m praying this is a joke, but if not – oh my, is this guy a catch (er, except for the fact nobody’s torn off a strip)! He is hoping to meet a voluptuous pornstar – but you must NOT be fat. Form an orderly queue ladies….
ATTENTION LADIES – ALL U WHITE CUTIES & HISPANIC HONIES
My name’s Malik (Pronounced Molek), 42 years old, employed, likes to see movies, play video games, rollerblade, ice skate, go to nightclubs, hang out at Coney Island, take long subway rides, my favorite foods are Chinese and Italian. I love cats and tigers. AND NO – I’m NOT INTERESTED IN MARRIAGE NOR PARENTHOOD.
These are the things of qualities I’m looking for in a woman
She MUST be:
Highly Attractive, white or hispanic; have long blonde or red hair; VERY curvacious/voluptuous (NOT FAT), beautiful Legs, face & body, big chested (VERY BUSTY), between the ages of 21-52. Must like to listen to hip-hop, house, dance/electronica, freestyle techno, disco, 80’s music, reggae and ragga music; must love hockey (New York Rangers fan), baseball (New York Mets) and basketball (Los Angeles Lakers fan) & football (New York Jets fan). Also must be smart (educated), employed (career-minded), independent, doesn’t smoke, drinks on occasions, drug & disease free, very promiscuous – into 3-somes (2 ladies, 1 guy) and 4-somes (3 ladies/1 Guy), love the color red (which is MY FAVORITE COLOR).
The nationalities: American, Canadian, Hispanic, British, Swedish, Far-East, Asian, Australian, Italian, Brazilian & Native American (Apache tribe preferred), willing to take turn paying on dates (I will of course pay on the first), MUST LOOK HIGHLY HOT, “LOVE TO WEAR” mini skirts, daisy duke shorts, brown-shaded thigh-hi’s &(or) pantyhose & 5-6 inch spiked heels, have long (red polished) fingernails & MUST BE A GREAT KISSER (IN OTHER WORDS U MUST KNOW HOW 2 MAKE OUT WITH ME!!!! ALSO PORNSTARS R WELCOMED!
NOTE: NO HOOKERS, SHE-MALES, CROSS-DRESSERS, TRANSSEXUALS, HE-SHEs, DRAG-QUEENs, TRANSVESTITES, CALL-GIRLS ALLOWED!!! IF YOU’RE ANY OF THOSE ABOVE THIS SECTION DO NOT REPLY!!!!!!
BE REAL WHEN CALLING ABOUT THIS AD!